Where shall I begin? Oh, I'll do this review as if it were a Quentin Tarantino film.
In the near future:
You just uninstalled Guitar Hero 5 Mobile after downloading it for free from the Amazon Appstore for Android. You really want that five minutes of your life back. A voice in the back of your head says, "I can't believe you thought it was going to be good. Man, you got owned by an app. That thing is making you want to throw my Android out the window and go get the iPhone like a drone."
__________
Back to right now:
If you visit the Amazon Appstore for Android you too can get an amazing deal on an $8 app, because its free, but only for the remainder of today. Though I should warn you to exercise caution before pelting your screen with excessive thumb smacking in the name of shoddy music games. By encouraging you to visit the comments made by other dumb asses who've already made the mistake of not only downloading this piece but also playing it.
What is wrong with the game that would merit preventative measures such as reading comments before downloading you might ask. Three things.
1. The game sucks on many levels.
2. These many levels are vast and cannot be summarized in three steps.
3. You are guaranteed to wanna download this app after having played it the first time.
I will list a few of the most obvious issues then let you go like a puppy no one wants. When you boot Guitar Hero 5 Mobile you will be asked which language you speak. This will come up each and every time you boot the app. You will also be prompted to download the high quality versions of each of the 20 songs. They aren't much higher in quality in fact. You will not reach the end of the song. This is because the songs included in GH5: Mobile do not have the end of the song. The game only features three out of five of the colored buttons to play the game. This makes Expert mode a ton easier actually. There is no multiplayer; thank god! Drums are so dumb, you press any of the buttons to hit the purple kick. I missed so many of those looking for a kick button until I figured that out.
The game doesn't work on tablets as you would expect it to. It also auto-orients itself in case you rotate the device which can cause you to miss notes during gameplay. Some people are complaining about lag, works with zero lag on my Fascinate with 2.2, btw. In the end, the game does not come close to resembling Guitar Hero 5. Its a wonder why they went with that title instead of just calling it Guitar Hero Mobile: Piece of Shit Edition.
With four updates already delivered making this app better, doubtful, lets hope they get the hint and either stop updating or replace it with Rock Band. Tee hee.
Guitar Hero 5 Mobile -
